all one can be is oneself.
I have spent the last week pouring over books and videos. The videos show me how to paint a portrait, what to do, how to improve, what steps to take and in what order and the confidence in the telling is amazing. The books are a cornucopia of information. One knows that everywhere one looks, someone is dealing with the same problem. Some threads show links, for example William Coldstream, Euan Uglow, Ann Gale and if you have a moment...... But in the end: There is a story about the Chassidic teacher Zusia. who, as he lay dying, was found by his students to be crying and when asked why he was so sad explained that when he goes up to heaven, God will not ask why he was not like Moses but why he was not more like Zusia. and of course this is the essential point. The job is the job and integrity is all or it is nothing.